there was a letter read this week, followed by a talk about all the changes that are coming in the next couple of months regarding merging congregations in the area (va/md/dc) - the letter said that the kh's in the area are only being filled to 48% capacity.
this was music to my ears as i have noticed the decline in attendance in all the neighboring congregations.
they will sell some kingdom halls and merge some congregations.
When one is struggling with doubts or they just aren't motivated to attend the meetings, being part of a congregation with sparse attendance is often the straw that breaks the camels back, for them.
Besides the monetary gain from selling off Halls and merging congregations, I'm sure the GB realizes there is an "encouragement" factor that comes into play when one is sitting in a crowded Kingdom Hall as opposed to one with lots empty seats and little old ladies.
i don't think there's any "one right way" to go about trying to show friends and family that the religion is both false and harmful.
but i do think there are a couple of things we should keep in mind..
) the religion is a social network.
Ask the question - let them answer. And then leave it alone.
I think this is key. Rather than coming at them with information that could shock them back into their safe JW rabbit hole, I think it's best to casually ask them to explain their own beliefs to you.
Once I stopped going to meetings myself, I used to ask my wife to remind me what the scriptural reasoning was behind a certain basic JW doctrines. In the process of her telling me the answer, she'd see how flawed the reasonings were. I didn't have to do anything, just let her explain her own beliefs.
Sometimes I'd ask her what her take was on something I wondered about. For example:
Me: I was thinking about how God sent his angel in to kill off all of the firstborn babies in Egypt because Pharaoh wouldn't let the Israelites go.
Her: Yeah, what about it?
Me: I was wondering why he had the Israelites organize an army and do battle for him on many occasions when he could have simply sent in his angels to get rid of his enemies, such as the Cananites. Especially since one of the 10 commandments he gave to them specifically said, "Thou shall not kill" ?
I'd leave it at that, not make her feel obligated to answer or defend anything. I'd just let her think about it.
I started to notice that when I attended a Sunday meeting on occasion, she'd look up the scriptures that were sighted in the talk but would begin reading the surrounding verses and would notice that the speaker was applying the scripture out of context.
Finally one day, she went by herself to the District Assembly but came home at the intermission disgusted by what she was hearing them say about "higher education". She hasn't been to a meeting or Assembly in about 7 years now. She quit on her own...cold turkey and unlike me, doesn't feel the need to discuss it with her JW family, hasn't felt the need to visit a site like this and couldn't care less what's going on with the JW religion now.
q. how do you explain the millions that have left or were dfd/dad from jws?.
a. no evidence exists that it is the truth.. case closed....
When I think back on my life as a JW, I personally knew or was related to dozens of people who either left the organization on their own or who were DF'd or DA'd for one reason or another. I think it's safe to say that like me, each and every one of the 8 million + current JW's today, also have at least one or more relatives or former friends who are no longer a JWs.
That being the case, there are more "former" JW's in the world, than there are current JWs. In the past, unless they were willing to picket outside an assembly, these former JWs had to disappear into the wild blue yonder and remain voiceless as to what happened to them.
Thankfully, those days are gone and thanks to the internet, millions upon millions of former JW's now have a voice. They are a mighty throng who will no longer be silenced.
lets play a fun game?.
we all know that as witnesses, we were constantly told to read the bible, and ask ourselves what the passage we read reveals about god.. as an example, here is a wt that highlights this.. may 2016 wt study edition "benefit fully from jehovah's provisions".
8 ask questions.
I have no problem with God destroying peoples who burned infants alive or took part in decadent sexual practices with the forced prostitution of women.
According to the Bible, god decided to purposely curse all of future mankind based on what Adam and Eve did, rather than to either forgive them or kill them off before they had any children.
All through the Bible there are instances where he killed people or punished them for the wickedness that was caused by the imperfection he cursed them with.
All these thousands of years later, according to the Bible, he is still planning to wipe out just about everyone on the planet rather than choosing to lift the original curse or to forgive humans of the sins we, through no fault of our own, inherited because he allowed it to happen.
If you or I did anything close to that to our children, we'd be thought of as monsters.
mine was to some random guy in uniform i saw on the street about two years ago.
even as a jw i knew that we had a lot of freedoms here in the us that were hard earned.
it felt really good to finally be able to say in person to someone when i i did..
A number of years ago when we had first made our exit from the JW's, my wife and I were driving over the Cascade mountains and at one point we were following a long convoy of camouflaged military vehicles each filled with young guys the same ages as our 2 sons, heading off for some sort of training in the eastern part of the State.
Some of the vehicles were open air and we could see the dismal expressions on the faces of the passengers as we passed. My wife and I were both apparently thinking about our own sons and what it would be like for them and us, if they were in the same position as these young men who would likely be shipped out to the middle east in the near future.
Out of the blue I started honking the horn and waving to them as we passed and my wife began tearfully blowing them kisses and saying "thank you". This was met with big smiles and enthusiastic honking and waves from the dozens of soldiers, in return as we passed.
It was a nice to see them smiling and to know that we were able, in this small way, to brighten their day a little by acknowledging them and showing them our appreciation for their sacrifices. It was also nice experience for us not to have to feel guilty about having done so, as well.
the wt teaches that "fatherless boys" need special care and attention in the congregation.
however, as brought out at the rc their definition of "fatherless boys" includes boys that have actual fathers who maybe very well qualified to teach and raise their sons.
according to wt, if either of your parents aren't jws then you are a "fatherless boy.
My (European immigrant) Father was not a JW but was a better man than most of the JW men I knew. He studied with the JW's for years but just couldn't bring himself to go from door to door. He was just too shy of a person, to make a cold call at someones door and start speaking to them about something as personal as religion. (especially so because he was a foreigner and spoke with an accent) . The 1975 fever was in full force and the directive from Brooklyn was to stop studying with anyone who wasn't making progress toward baptism within 6 months. They dropped him and he eventually stopped going to meetings because he couldn't take hearing about how he was going to die at Armageddon because he was on of those doomed people who had come to an accurate knowledge, but wasn't baptized.
Because of this JW "fatherless boy" idea, despite having a perfectly good father at home, I lived through being viewed as "less than" and "to be pitied" because I wasn't from a perfect 2 parent JW family. There was no one who stepped in and acted as a "father figure" as was advised in the literature and from the platform. There were however, those who instead, made sure their own sons were first in line for any of the few and far between "fun" things a JW boy could be part of, including a part in the assembly dramas, running the microphones and doing the fun jobs during JW building projects etc.
For example, when I was 15 there was a work day scheduled at the kingdom hall. They said that anyone who was under the age of 16 had to be accompanied by an adult. I made an arrangements to work with my best friend (also 15) and his Dad. There was a brushy area adjacent to the parking lot that needed to be cut back so my friends Dad told us to take some pruners and start chopping the brush down and that he'd be back to check on us later.
My friend and I were working out hearts out when suddenly the Presiding Overseer came over and yelled at me in front of everyone for being there without a parent. I tried to explain the situation but he grabbed me by the arm and yanked me over to the parking lot and told me to go home and shoved me in that direction. That whole scenario would have never taken place had I not been viewed as a "fatherless boy" with no father that he'd have to answer to. (when I came home early and Dad saw the welts on my arm, my otherwise
mild mannered father came unglued and gave the P.O a piece of his
mind...but that's another story)
Most of the brothers were good guys but there were a number of the brother's in good standing and regular in service etc who I learned, from knowing their kids, were not good people. Yet we were the ones looked upon as deficient, or to be pitied because our father wasn't baptized.
Ironically, a number of those brothers from that time period, who viewed my Father as spiritually week for letting "fear of man" keep him from going from door to door, were later DF'd for immorality or left the organization for one reason or another or have simply grown old and died.
My Dad was a naturally good and decent man so he didn't need the JW's to teach him how to be Christlike but they did teach him everything (erroneous) he needed to know about the topic of blood transfusions. Ironically, even though he wasn't a JW, he died a few years later, because he signed the "no blood" directive before his heart surgery. I wasn't a boy when it happened but thanks to the JW's I was Fatherless.
Decades later the names and faces are different and all the unnecessary hardships, hard work and nonsense we went through because of the direction from Brooklyn, has been dismissed or forgotten by everyone. Everyone except for this "fatherless boy".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0qpoelk2r4.
the dad in this is a total douche.
i dont know if the videos have become more judgemental and culty in the year since i left - or maybe im just noticing it more?.
I see many of the broad generalizations about the world that were used in similar JW productions back in the 60's are still being employed in the new videos as well. The same exaggerated scenarios and creation of issues where none exist, all intended to lead the viewer to the conclusion that if you're not a Jehovah's Witness your life is empty.
it really is mind blowing when we think about it : witnesses have no problem with a deity who will use violence in order to end violence?!?!.
armageddon will be gods war to kill billions of people...because it shows his love?.
thoughts?.
It always seemed to me as a JW that if "imperfection" was at the root of mans problems (crime, violence, wars, sickness etc) then simply removing the imperfection would be the way to solve mans problems rather than annihilating hundreds of millions of men women and children.
The Bible however points out that God seems to like a more dramatic approach. For example, if you believe the account of Noah, he would rather flood the entire earth and drown all but 8 humans as well as drown nearly all of the innocent animals on the planet rather than to simply send in his angels in the night, to kill off the wicked ones. It worked in later in Egypt but I guess he hadn't thought of that yet, at the time of Noah.
Christians like to think they are all about upholding goodness and righteousness however they, like most humans, are also big on consequences and seeing those they perceive as wicked, getting their just desserts rather than simply being cured of the imperfection they recognize as the basis of man's problems. It's easier and more motivating for those who view themselves as saved or as already righteous and who want to save their own skins, to get behind the idea of a mass annihilation of the human race.
cowtown ain’t.
in which i tell you about my hometown, ft. worth, texas.
question: “what do you call mexican food down in guadalajara?”.
It's always enjoyable to read your stories Terry and your references to Fort Worth. My first recollection of anything to do with Fort Worth was when I was a kid back in 1970 during the JW 1975 fever. My JW mother convinced my non-JW father to sell our nice home and move themselves and 4 kids into a single wide mobile home and park it across the street from the Kingdom Hall, in a trailer court inhabited by dozens of other JW's escaping reality.
We came to learn years later that many JW's in other places were getting in debt, figuring they'd never have to pay anything off before the end came. Instead of getting in debt, my parents did the opposite. Like a good JW, my Mother had been convinced that the economy was going to collapse and people would be throwing their money in the streets so she figured we should get out from under a mortgage so that when the "tribulation" came, we'd at least be able to hang on to our mobile home if my Dad lost his job.
The mobile home they bought was really nice and it was sort of unusual because it had an upstairs bedroom up front which was mine. I remember there was an insignia outside my bedroom window on the front that said "PAULSIL- MELODY HOME, Fort Worth Texas". As a kid, I was fascinated by the idea that our home was built in magical place called Fort Worth Texas and was hauled by truck all the way to Seattle Washington for us to live in. I always wanted to go to the factory and see how it was made but Fort Worth Texas was a world away.
I've been to Texas many times since them but never to Fort Worth but anytime I hear that name, I think of my younger self in my little upstairs bedroom in our "Melody Home", tossing and turning at night worrying about my little sisters and trying to figure out how I could possibly save them during the great tribulation and the persecution that was on its way. I think about my parents who had to struggle to get us back into a real house again after 1975 came and went. I think about how they are both gone now and how my non JW father died too young because he was convinced by the JW's he was studying with not to take a blood transfusion during his heart surgery. I think about how JW's today have virtually dismissed what we went through as a result of what we were led to believe in those days.
Now because of your Fort Worth related stories, I also think about all the unnecessary hardships you went through as a JW, yet you still have a sense of humor about it and about life's ironies in general. I also find it ironic that as faithful JW's we both lived through the 1975 debacle and have this little Fort Worth connection and have both wound up here on an Ex JW forum all these decades later via something called the Internet ,which wasn't even though of back then. Weren't we supposed to be perfect by now?? Where's that pet Lion they promised me??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0qpoelk2r4.
the dad in this is a total douche.
i dont know if the videos have become more judgemental and culty in the year since i left - or maybe im just noticing it more?.
I watched the video and stopped a few seconds after the JW husband went into a closet/office and gave the new bible study a bible. I knew I wasn't going to be able to stomach this video as soon as they once again started indulging and reassuring the JW audiences' foregone conclusions about the ill mannered and unsavory "worldly" people they must accommodate as they martyr themselves in order to do "God's Will". They even stopped the story in order to reminded the guy to take off his shoes in their oh so sanitary JW household. The actor even had a (fake) 5 o'clock shadow to subtly remind JW's that only bad guys have facial hair.
These videos are way too "on the nose" for me to even stand watching for any length of time. Even the most indoctrinated JW will notice the obvious pandering to the JW audience that takes place in them and will surely realize that the picture perfect world and theocratic banter that is portrayed, is a far cry from their own lives and the lives of any other JW they know. Hopefully over time, the credibility of the organization will be lost to them.
